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We love a well-groomed beard and magnificent moustache, and are even partial to some splendid sideburns, but sometimes facial hair can eclipse a man’s style. The question is; when does your facial hair go from being a talking point to completely taking over? We’ve put together some hints that will help you identify if your facial hair is taking over like an invading alien.

Seven Signs Your Beard Is Too Big

Beards are brilliant when they’re well groomed and kept to a reasonable length. How do you define a reasonable length? We’d say shorter than Gandalf and Dumbledore, unless you are in fact a wizard. Here are some other ways to tell that your beard is too big:

  1. It arrives in the room a significant amount of time before you do.
  2. You can wring it out and get a decent drink from it.
  3. People have started referring to you as ‘the beard’ as they can no longer tell what’s you and what’s beard.
  4. You spend time watching beard topiary videos.
  5. You can wipe the inside of your car windscreen without the need for hands.
  6. You’ve started to shave your forehead.
  7. You’re driving a Harley Davidson.

Man vs. Moustache

Does the moustache maketh the man? Throughout history there have been many memorable men with moustaches. Probably some women with them too, but they may prefer that we don’t mention it.

As far as moustaches go, as long as yours doesn’t bear too much resemblance to any infamous dictators or look like any of these great animal moustaches, you’re probably on the right track!

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Sideburns or Sadburns

With sideburns, we’re betting you’re going for Wolverine rather than this chap:


As a rule of thumb, only grow sideburns if you know they’re going to be thick enough to look good (not patchy!) and get them professionally styled for a great finish.

Time for a trim?

If you are fed up with your facial hair, or are just looking to take back control of your face, we’re here for trimming, styling and grooming to whip your facial hair back into shape. If you’d like a fresh start, we also offer a superb traditional wet shave at Richmond Barbers.